Reid's Nightmares
by clemonlime
Summary: A moment of silence passed. Morgan stared at Reid with so much worry it could fill an ocean, while his partner stared at one of the tiles across the room. He glanced up after a moment of thinking. "Do you have nightmares?" Reid asked, his voice hushed. (Season 1, Ep. 10)
1. Chapter 1

"Easy there, tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar," Derek Morgan seemed to appear out of nowhere, almost startling the man who was pouring half of the sugar container into his customized FBI mug.

"I need something to wake me up," Reid mumbled, his eyelids heavy.

The conversation fit their usual archetype they followed at work: Morgan would say something to tease Reid, Reid would respond with a confused but normal response, Morgan would continue his onslaught, but Reid would close it out with a statistic or random fact. Of course, this time was different.

Reid could see the enthusiasm fade from his partner's eyes and silently sighed. As Morgan turned away, he stopped him. "Hey, Morgan?"

He turned, mid-sip of his coffee, to watch as the skinny man approached him haphazardly. He felt terrible that they had to act this way at work, but it was all according to plan.

"Uh, do you ever have dreams?" Reid cautiously gripped the handle of his mug, his mouth open slightly in preparation for whatever Morgan was preparing to say as his eyebrows raised and his eyes widened.

"I'm sorry?" Agents and analysts scrambled in the background and Reid couldn't help his eyes from wandering.

"I guess, ah..." He cleared his throat nervously and locked his gaze onto Morgan's, "...nightmares would be a more accurate description."

Recognition and hidden worry flashed across the other man's features, "Is that what's keeping you up?"

Reid shifted on his feet, "I used to get them occasionally, but..." He took a small breath through his mouth, "Lately it's like I have them every night."

"What are they about?" Morgan asked. He didn't know, of course, because they agreed not to sleep over at each other's house on weekdays when the rest of the team would easily walk in with their spare keys. But he was worried.

Reid answered like it was the simplest answer in the world. He nodded his head toward the bustling hive of desks behind them. " _This_. What we _do_."

A moment of silence passed. Morgan stared at Reid with so much worry it could fill an ocean, while his partner stared at one of the tiles across the room. He glanced up after a moment of thinking.

"Do you have nightmares?" Reid asked, his voice hushed.

Morgan took in a breath, and Reid knew what he was going to say. "Reid, I'm not sure if I'm the right person for you to talk about this."

Reid looked around quickly to check for eavesdroppers before mumbling, "Why not?"

Morgan began looking around as well, his resolve dwindling. The last think he wanted Reid to do was think he didn't care, but he couldn't focus on his needs right now, right before a case file meeting. "It's just, uh..." He made eye contact and then looked away, "Did you ask Gideon about it?"

Reid didn't even have to think, "No."

"You should," Morgan said, his heart breaking as Reid shook his head and looked to the floor. Before he could add anything, Elle was walking toward them.

"Hey," she said, "Hotch wants everyone in the round table room." She walked up a few stairs before noticing the tension. Morgan looked to Reid, who nervously tapped his mug and looked toward the tiles again. "Something up with you two?" Elle asked.

Reid rushed out a _no_ before walking rapidly past Elle without even giving a second glance to Morgan.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been eating at Reid all day. Hotch had pulled him aside to talk about dreams, and that's when he knew that it didn't matter anymore. Morgan was saying goodbye to the driver of the car, and as soon as the man was out of earshot and Morgan turned to the house they were going to investigate, he finally broke.

"Morgan. You knew I didn't want you to tell Hotch about my nightmares." He was angry. Morgan could tell. His jaw was clenched, his hand fidgeting where they were hidden in his bag.

Morgan took a deep breath, upset that his partner could be so blind to the importance of the situation, "Reid, that's something they need to know about."

"What do you mean _they_?" His eyes were becoming more and more disbelieving as his eyebrows drew together on his face.

"Hotch and Gideon," Morgan said, almost cautiously, trying to keep his calm in the situation as Reid began to blow up.

"You told _Gideon_ , too?" He backed up, his feet tripping over each other as he distanced himself, his voice raising several pitches, the rage bubbling up his throat and cutting off his air supply and his reasoning skills.

"Yeah," Morgan was getting upset. He didn't want to tell him, but if Reid kept pushing, he'd have to. "And it's ok, kid."

Reid stuttered, looking away for a moment before locking his eyes with the other man. "What if they think I can't do my _job_? What if they want to... pull me off the _team_?"

"They won't." Morgan tilted his head, trying to pull Reid back into his better mind, but it wasn't working.

"Oh, yeah? How do you know that?" He pursed his lips, his heart beating out of his chest. There were so many burning words to say, but so little time and so little breath.

Morgan looked at him, his heart cracking right down the middle. He couldn't stand it anymore. "I just do." He began to walk away, needing some space before he said things he'd regret.

Reid wasn't done. "You had no right, man. I-I confided in you." He chuckled, his overwhelming bursts of emotion coming out in laughs. Morgan turned to look at him. "This is—you know, this is _exactly_ what I get when I trust someone. It gets thrown back in my face-"

Morgan walked up, his chest almost touching Reid's, his voice straining not to quiver, "Mine started 6 months after I got into the B. A. U." Reid's mouth opened in surprise before it closed and his hazel eyes looked away. "Yeah. _Mine_."

He began to walk away again, and Reid stood for a moment but realized Morgan wasn't leaving. He reluctantly followed as Morgan leaned against the car in the driveway.

He sighed, "We were working a strangler case in Montana. Four victims." Reid nodded slowly, looking down every so often. He was eager to understand what he'd missed about the man he loved who was supposedly as lost as he was. "Me, I was still pretty young at the time so you know, I was feeling myself. I was cocky, I was arrogant."

Morgan carried himself with sass and cynicism, an obvious contempt toward his younger self. Reid's lips turned down as his eyes couldn't break away from Morgan.

"The locals, they didn't have anything, so I stepped up. I said I can nail down a profile for you just as soon as I can get what I need."

Reid glanced away, "More victims?"

"Mm-hmm. She was found the next day," Morgan's resolve to hide his feelings were spiraling downward, "So I went down to the scene to do my thing. And as I was looking over the body, that's when I saw them. Her eyes, Reid. They were wide open. And there was something different about them it was like they were looking right at me."

Reid shuddered, both from Morgan's story and the knowledge of what that's like.

"Like she knew," Morgan continues, his bottom lip stiff, "I asked for a victim. Well, here she was. That's when they started for me. Night after night I would fall asleep and I would see those eyes. They were dead eyes." Reid squirmed where he was standing, feeling nauseous, unable to look anywhere for more than a few seconds. "Accusing eyes. And it got to the point where it was happening even when I wasn't asleep. Reid, everywhere I went, I saw those eyes."

Reid opened his mouth, suddenly feeling dry, "What did you _do_?"

"Gideon." Reid's eyebrows raised, his eyes gaining the empathy his anger had lost, "He knew. I didn't tell him. I was like you. I didn't want anybody to know." Reid nodded needily, his face becoming more and more troubled. He wanted to help, he wanted to help so bad but there were still a few days until the weekend. "He just... he knew."

"And he sat me down and he just kind of talked me through it. I still have the nightmares to this day, just not nearly as often. But when they come back, I know how to handle them better."

Reid, feeling much more calm, mumbled, "What did he say?"

The sound of a nearing car engine broke them apart, their closeness interrupted as Morgan stood from the car and grabbed his gun.


End file.
